without truly seeking

those languishing lucid moments of lethargy
loneliness solitude
presence of oneself in one's mind
that you begin to talk out loud to yourself

that siren of silence in your inner ear
warning signs that you ignore
forget immerse yourself in whatever you were doing
forgetting yourself and your dreams and you hates and desires
to gain the short term feeling of irrational belonging

in step with the world
fleetingly the envy of all forsaken
downtrodden forgotten langoliers
still trapped in their limbo of alternate multiverse
caring naught what the world screams by
beckoning you to join the herd keeping in step

smiling unknowingly sheepishly stupidly dissipating
with the afternoon heat
sinking deeper into the comfort of the embrace of the womb
warm bright illuminance of revelation of life

washed away empty devoid of hope
wiped clean of feeling
numbed to the pain
scream out loud
never ever knowing
still searching ceaselessly
without truly seeking
without wanting to
find the end
of it all

lwi
09082006